January 1, 2012 ...

New Year's Eve brings out the crazies; we all know that. But, apparently, New Year's Day brings them out too!

After spending an abnormally long time in the car, driving back from Las Vegas, I got on my computer for the first time in three days. The first thing that pops up at me was, "Read your 2012 Horoscope Here". So I did!

Are these people for real? Do these people get paid for the bull they spew? I read four of them, the first one because it was about me, but the other three were my family members and by that time I wanted to see what 'crap' these so called 'psychics' were going to write.

According to our 2012 horoscope my 14 year old will have to make a decision on love this year because she doesn't want to wait 30 years to do so. All of us are in "OUR" year! After years of blah, blah, blah...Scorpio is doing things...for all of us. I'm supposedly going to have a good year money wise...which, admittedly, would be nice! My husband, whose life has apparently sucked for the past two years is going to find his true love...EXCUSE ME???

And my son, well, he's just going to be making a big move, which could actually happen since he's leaving for college...somewhere, but come on people...do people actually believe this crap? How generic can you get???

Now, back to the Vegas thing. Yes, I allowed my husband to talk me into doing Vegas for New Year's. After a somewhat harrowing drive on Friday, we got there Friday night in enough time to see what was going on the following night and where exactly we wanted to be. We learned we really didn't want to be on the strip. Too many vomiting partiers, too many people, not enough room, locked hotels, blah blah blah. Yes, you read that correctly...the hotels now LOCK you out unless you pay exorbitant amounts of money to have the privilege of partying in their hotel. Paying to the tune of $200/person. Yeah right. I can party on my own nicely, thank you very much!

Honestly though, we ended up having a great time. We began the evening getting a 32 oz. frozen, double-shot margarita, then we got another one and then it was almost time to watch fireworks. We gambled. We got silly beads and silly hats and we gambled. We drank too...entirely too much. Lots of loud music, many people, lots of alcohol and the most beautiful fireworks I've ever seen. Blown off the top of seven different hotels and from our vantage point, we saw them all! On the strip, after looking straight up for ten minutes, you'd be lucky to see just one set, but from the overpass on the freeway which they close off to traffic, you see all seven locations...same fireworks, seven buildings, all for ten minutes. Absolutely gorgeous!

Then, a short walk back to our hotel, off the strip, which wasn't the most exciting of places to be, but has a great TGIFriday's open all night long and potato skins and nachos were calling our names. As we waited we chatted with various friends and family members on the telephone and then called it a night.

Got up this morning, headed out a tad before twelve, hit traffic at Primm, stopped to eat breakfast and then hit heavy duty traffic...all the way home. But, no fear, we sang and we talked and we made fun of others from the safety of our own car.

All in all, I'd say it was a good New Year's and I'm hoping this is indicative of how this year will be.

Welcome 2012! I'm ready for ya!

Wow, time flew again!

Almost year end.

Time for letting it all go and starting fresh!

Let's hope it's a great new year!!

September 24, 2011 ...

Sometimes you just have to say...To Hell with it! Whatever IT is.

Today it's housework, laundry, errands.

Today I'm taking my almost 14 year-old daughter to see one of our favorite Disney movies...The Lion King in 3D.

Of course, that all depends upon whether or not the dog groomer calls and tells me that we can pick up the dog!!

September 11, 2011 ...

Many of us go through life kidding ourselves. For instance, I've been able to kid myself for years that I'm not getting old. How? Simple! I'm constantly told that I don't look my age, nor do I act my age. So, it made it easy to delude myself into believing that I really wasn't getting old! Until last Friday!

If you've followed my on Facebook, or in life in general, you know that I've suffered from headaches since I was 18. For the past three months I've had a different kind of headache though. It happens daily, isn't all that excruciating and is always behind the left eye.

Since we now have insurance, I went to see my doctor. First he sent me to get an x-ray to see if I had sinus problems. Apparently I do not, although I don't believe it. Then he sent me to a neurologist. The first thing the neurologist did was send me to get an MRI and to an opthomologist. The MRI was to look at my brain and my orbits to make sure there were no tumors. Lucky for me, I have none. The opthomologist was to take a look at my eyes to make sure there were no tumors and that the overall health of the eye was good. She said everything looked fine. I'm seeing 20/20 and it appears that I'm seeing how I'm supposed to.

Back to the neurologist I go. Three weeks had passed since I'd had everything done and I began to notice a few things. First, my sinuses ARE bad. So, he suggested that I go see an ENT. I also noticed, that despite what the opthomologist said, I seem to be having problems seeing correctly. My thought was, oh oh, I guess it's time to tweak that LASIK I had eleven years ago. Yes, eleven years. I thought it had been more like nine, but they tell me eleven. Anyway, on my own I decide to go back to my optometrist that I've seen since I was 18.

Off I go on Friday. Friday. The day I found out, I'm old despite what I may be telling myself; despite what others may be telling me. I'm unequivocally OLD!

I go in Friday morning, they do their tests and they put me in the room waiting for the eye doctor. Dr. Morrison. Someone I trust completely. He says, "What brings you in today?" I say, "There seems to be something wrong with my sight, but it's hard to explain. I can see far. Nothing is blurry when I drive...as a matter of fact I can see that wall over there and the words on it. I read all the time and I can see the book fine, yet there is something wrong." Before he even does any checking, he says, "You need reading glasses?" Didn't you just hear me say that I can read fine? Nothing is blurred. Besides, when I went to the opthomologist, she gave me a reading test and said I was reading just fine.

Smart ass that I am, I was thinking, 'he is so WRONG!' He does his exam and says I'm seeing just fine distancewise. He holds up a card and tells me to read it. Again, I'm like, "I see it just fine!" Then he put two lenses in front of the words. "Oh!" He said, "Let me guess, you're reading you look up and everything is blurry?" "YES! That's it!" "I hate to tell you this darlin', but you are beginning to need reading glasses!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"You have two options. One, you can ignore what I said, six months from now you'll definitely need them. You'll continue to get headaches and you'll eventually come to see me for a prescription. Or. You can get them now, wrap your mind around it mentally and probably get rid of your headaches."

Are you kidding me? Really? I mean really?

"Consider yourself lucky", he says. "Most people need reading glasses around 42 to 44, you're almost 47" Gees, thanks doc! You're all heart.

NOT!

So, as I'm picking out picking out glasses, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, that's it. I can't kid myself anymore. I'm old! I'm f'n old! Doesn't matter what others say. Doesn't matter what I think. My body is officially telling me that I'm old.

All I can say is...

I DAMN WELL BETTER BE OVER MY HEADACHES ONCE I START USING THESE THINGS!

August 27, 2011...

Can I just tell you all how happy I am that we finally seem to be out of the five year slump we've had? Well, I can't say out of it per se, however I can say how nice it is not to have to worry about having money coming in all the time and enough to make ends meet!!

School registration came and we had the money. Taylor needed contacts, we had the money. Both kids needed school clothes, we had the money, Marcel needed tires, we had the money. Now, just as soon as we get caught up a bit, we'll be able to start paying people back...if all goes well.

It's been difficult trying to figure out how to make everything work, however, I'll get there. Soon enough I'll figure out how to work full time, keep the house clean, run all the errands I need to and still divide my time equally between Marcel, the kids and myself. Until then, I get things done as I can.

I like my job. Been interesting knowing about tax yet learning so many new things. Soon enough I'll have been there an entire month already. Time is definitely flying...Monday marks the beginning of my fourth week already!

Have good friends coming from Canada next week. Can't wait to see them. Kinda used to seeing them yearly now. I can't believe that they are actually coming to so Cal just to see Marcel and I. Now if I could only get Neecy out here, my life would be complete.

Well, maybe not complete, but content in the friend department. I'll have to work on her...it's been long enough...it's time to come visit. Maybe next year I can go visit her!! It's just that there is nothing to go much left in Atlanta and there is still so much she could be doing here and with her boys both gone next year, it would be easier for her to get here since I still have one in high school.

Oh well, only time will tell!

August 13, 2011 ...

So much going on, where do I start?

Best news: I GOT A JOB!! A real life, full time, job! All I can hope is that this means a better 2012 and remainder of 2011. My hope is to have enough at the end of the month to be able to not worry about not paying things, enough to start paying back some money owed and to have a little left over for the essentials that come up. After all, I foresee a very expensive year coming up for Taylor.

Speaking of which, the kids go over to school next week to pick up their registration packets and Taylor has his Sr. picture taken on Monday evening! I can't believe my baby is graduating in June of next year! *sigh*

Meghen broke her wrist while dancing. I has just said to another mom, "Mary, you don't want to watch this" when not five minutes later Meghen walks up to me with an ice pack covering her wrist and says, "it hurts really bad". After taking one look it was obvious that it was broken. I calmly told her things would be fine, we'd just drive on over to Mission Hospital and they'd set it and everything would be fine! We were lucky enough to be walked right to the back, in x-ray within 5 minutes and out of the hospital completely in a little less than three hours!

It's diet time again. Diet time makes Jacquie very NOT happy. It's not so much the food, but doing without the soda, my only form of caffeine. *sigh* I don't do well without soda, but I know it's one thing I just have to let go for a while. I'm hoping that within about 30 days or so, I can start with a coke or so a day again, but we'll see. Want to see how the diet goes. I really hate dieting, but I hate not eating what I want more so I diet when need be and then wait and see how long before it creeps up on me again. Probably not the safest method and not the best for my body, but it usually takes about 2-3 years before I have to diet again.

Must say that surprisingly it hasn't been difficult living without my phony nails. Although I had them for 20 years or more, I find that I don't miss them as badly as I thought I would. My own nails aren't pretty yet, but they are actually getting there.

Seems that the mosquitoes are eating me alive this summer. Odd. I have rarely gotten bitten in the past so I'm trying to figure out why? Could it be that I've gotten sweeter in my old age? bwahahahahaha. And they are bad ones too! Big, ugly red welts! Damn insects!

Well, that's about all for today. Was looking back on past years of this blog and realized I have a whole lot of life in here somewhere. I really should back in all up! I really should. I've been blogging since late 2006, early 2007....that's almost five years! Five years of life, good and bad! Really is a great remembrance and diary of life!!

July 15, 2011...

Happy Birthday to my dear Friend Anne Marie.

It was almost 32 years ago that I met Anne Marie at Capo Valley High School. We both ended up in the same P.E. class and we were inseparable during all the rest of high school. For reasons that don't need to be gone into now, we kind of drifted apart right after high school, but somehow, thank you Classmates.com, came back together again in December of, I believe, 2002. We chatted some here and there, went to our 20 year reunion together and have talked off and on since then.

Wednesday night we had a chance to get together and go to dinner. Although we've gotten together sporadically since our 20th reunion, it always seemed a bit uncomfortable (didn't know what to say, etc.). But something changed Wednesday night. We got together, reminisced, laughed and genuinely had a great time. And, when we hugged goodbye, it was such a warm hug.

I'd like to think that this means that we'll be closer.

Neither of us really enjoyed high school like we should have. I know it's supposed to be a fun time and all but I think we both felt completely out of place. We lived in an upper middle class neighborhood without being upper middle class. We watched as our peers drove their mercedes' and BMW's to school while she was driven by her mom and I took the bus. Everyone had the best clothes and shoes; we had whatever our parents bought for us. We were the 'bookworm geeks'. Took the AP classes. Did our homework ages in advance.

Once we met, life seemed a little more enjoyable. We didn't need anyone else. We made our own fun! We were together most every weekend; all weekend long. We went to movies. Spent the night. Made up stories about our grand weekend adventures (remind me to tell you about the Quogs one day) and once we both started working at McDonald's, a whole new world opened for both of us. We made friends, lots of friends. We felt part of a group. It seemed to be our thing!

Although Anne Marie didn't last at McDonald's as long as I did, or I should say at the same McDonald's, we truly had a great time while there and I have her to thank for any good memories I do have of my teenage years. And don't even get me started on what her mother did for me while she was alive. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for that wonderful woman and her beautiful daughter.

So, again, I say Happy Birthday my Dear Friend. I hope you know just how much you mean to me!! And please know, I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Anytime, day or night!

Love you my FRIEND.

July 7, 2011...

Those that know me well know that I'm not a huge T.V. person. When September comes I have my handful of shows I like to watch. But watch out October...or the end of October...but this year, this year the NBA is ripping my excitement right out from under me...the bastards!

How can they do this to me? How can they take the only thing I live to watch and end it because of money. My husband didn't have a job for years, we've lost everything and they are worried because they want the salaries to go way down so that the NBA can actually make more instead of the owners losing money. Really? I mean really?

We're talking millions of dollars. Sports figures get paid way too much anyway. I agree with the owners. As much as I love my Lakers, they still get paid entirely too much. Kobe is good. He's not THAT good! Hell, I'll get out there and play for much less than they do. At the very least watching me play would be amusing! Just sayin'.

Everyone's like, there is a lock out in the NFL too. I don't care about the NFL. I like football, but I LOVE basketball. What will I do with my time. I mean. I already read more than anyone I know. I scrap a lot. What else is there? Board games? Board games aren't fun when one plays by herself!

Again. Just sayin'.

July 6, 2011...

Anybody that knows me probably knew that sooner or later I'd get to this topic.

Casey Anthony. Mother extraordinaire. NOT!

Is she guilty? Probably.

Should she have been convicted? Probably.

Was she convicted? No.

Why?

Because our justice system is archaic...That's why!

What I wonder is this. When did judges STOP doing the job they were either elected for or hired for? When did they decide to allow faulty attorneys to run the court room?

Do you know what I'd like to see?

A judge that has the balls enough to put his/her foot down and say enough is enough! A judge that runs the court room the way its supposed to be run. A judge that says, I don't care what crap you, as an attorney, come up, with if it doesn't pertain to this trial, you won't bring it up.

Remember OJ? Remember how pissed you were because he walked? You were probably sure that he'd hang himself eventually. He did. A person with that much anger was bound to end up in jail eventually.

Casey Anthony. Will she too hang herself? Probably not. She'll go on with life. Possibly change her name or move somewhere people don't know her. She may have another child. She may even profit from her story. As you know, I love to read my true crime. I will NEVER buy a book that woman may write!

It sickens me. It sickens me that the judge allowed a slime ball attorney to bring up things that had absolutely NO bearing on the case at hand. The case of a little girl murdered. The defense never argued that she wasn't murdered. No, what did they do? They said that Casey's father molested her. And that has exactly what to do with a two year old dying? He also mentioned that the gentleman that found the body moved it. Really? Was he there?

Yes. The prosecution made mistakes. The shouldn't have gone for the all or nothing. But come on people.

Do you know that most murder convictions happen because of circumstantial evidence? How many murderers have stood up and said, "That's right, you got me". Oh yes, son of Sam did. He's about the only one. Manson, to this day, still fenes innocence. Yes. Circumstantial evidence.

The words circumstantial evidence and beyond a reasonable doubt don't go together. Yet they often do. Apparently not this time.

What do we do? OJ? Casey? Well, seems to me to be an easy solution. Change the definition. Change how the system works. Why? Because it's NOT working! We wrote the laws. We can change said laws. If they worked, I'd say keep them. They don't work!

Am I angry? You bet I am. At the jurors? No. They did what they were supposed to do according to the law. I'm fairly certain that more than one juror found her guilty. I'd guess more than half think she is. But. Based on what they heard, they couldn't convict. So. Who to be mad at? Just the system. A system that needs to be changed. A system, which seems to be the best one in the world, yet still has many things wrong with it.

How do we change the system? Elect judges that aren't afraid. Elect judges that are as sick and tired as we are in seeing justice not served. Elect judges who want to make a difference.

Or, if you have a better idea...I'd love to hear it. I'm open!!

July 3, 2011...

I'm just not sure how life gets away. I suppose I could open a new blog and start over, but really, I suppose it doesn't matter. A blog is a blog and it's my life story, be it good or bad. I haven't looked over this blog in a very long time but I probably should. I can see how I started, where I went wrong and where I am now. Memory Lane. May not be such a good thing. Then again...

Life goes so fast. Already I have a Freshman and a Senior in High School. 50 is right around the corner, where does the time go? Seems like I just graduated from high school myself. Life truly is short.

Why wax poetic? No idea. Just seemed like the thing to do on this July 4th weekend. Spent time with family today and realized it was such a good thing. Tomorrow we'll spend equal time with friends. Tuesday is Marcel's birthday and life will continue to fly on by.

I've got a cat that is eleven and I'm sure not doing so well. I've a dog that is twelve and is not doing so well. Guess I didn't plan that one very well! I'll be sad about the dog; I'll be devastated about the cat! He's my boy, my Clooney!

Well, enough of this reminiscing..if that's what one calls it. I need to branch out. Write something memorable...hmmm...memorable...have any ideas?

April 17, 2011 ...

So many things I suppose I can go off on...

But, I'll try to be brief about everything and just voice my thoughts...please excuse if I go off on a tangent. lol

As you know I'm an avid basketball fan, especially my beloved Lakers. It's playoff time. I'm on pins and needles. I swear to you, I get stomach aches, headaches and anxiety during these games! And, because it's the playoffs, one cannot just watch the Lakers, one has to watch them all. For you see, we can't have any surprises! I love my Lakers. I'm convinced that they do certain things on purpose, like, for instance, playing like crap for days on end. There is no way that a team that has won as many championships as they have can have all major players NOT playing well at the same time. Looking back at the way Phil Jackson used to coach the Bulls, it is the same MO. Do I think we're going to win the title this year? In a word, NO. Do I think we can? Yes. But, I've always been a pessimist, so don't listen to me.

On a related note, the Kobe debacle right now is just plain ridiculous. The man got mad, the man said something he shouldn't have, but come on people, that doesn't mean that he's a homophobe! I can only use myself as an example, but I can honestly say there have been numerous times that something has slipped out of my mouth and I was like, oh crap, it's too late for me to take that back! He apologized. Some people won't accept it. Really folks? Do you not have better things to worry about than whether or not Kobe Bryant is making amends to the Lesbian and Gay communities? Are your lives that boring that you need to hang on every word said about and from the man? If that is all you have, I feel sorry for you!

It's the same in my own life. As you all know, I don't keep many secrets, unless, of course, I'm asked to...but, when it comes to my own life, I tell it like it is. To that end, you all know that I've had a very interesting life in the past years...about five to be exact. Husband lost his job, his business, and his self worth. We lost our home, a car, declared bankruptcy, separated and got back together. Through it all I've done things, many things, I'm not proud of. But, I am human. I make mistakes. I still like to consider myself the good girl. Not the good girl gone wrong, but the good girl that went astray for a while. I've shared it with you. Then I noticed that some people were hanging on my life daily! My life became their soap opera. So, to that end, as I'm sure you've noticed, I've kept my mouth shut for the past year. Not because I don't want to be open and honest, but because my life will no longer be everyone's soap opera. I will say that at times, like everyone else, my life is difficult. Sometimes just getting up every day is a struggle. My husband is again without a job. I have a part-time job. My son graduates from High School next year and we worry about how he'll go to college. My daughter is a great dancer and I worry how we'll continue allowing her to perform. I worry about lots of things, but, I'm happy.

In the past year and a half, I've figured out a lot about Jacquie. What I want, what I don't want and what I need. What works for me, what doesn't work for me. Who my friends are and who my friends are not. I've let things go that are not important. I've changed my views and even changed aspects of my personality. I've adapted to my situation and I'll prevail. Throughout it all I've been the strong individual I've always been. I've made mistakes, yes...but I'm trying to learn to forgive myself. It's a struggle. Eventually I'll prevail and life will go on. I'll go on. And I'll be a better person for it!

Work has been a wonderful thing for me. I love my job. I love the guys I work for. They are fair and honest and, in turn, I'm fair and honest with them. They know what's going on in my life and they now know that a part-time job isn't enough for me. If they cannot offer me a few more hours a week, then I'll have to possibly look elsewhere. Not because I want to, but because I have to do what's best for my family. As much as I love my job, I must have more hours to survive. Hopefully it works out well for everyone.

I've certainly been thinking about going back to school. Trying to find something that I won't be too old to do at age 50 when I'd be done and on my way to a 'new' career. Problem is, it's difficult thinking about what I want to do that won't be obsolete in time. Lots of thinking here.

Throughout my entire five years of learning, experience, etc. I've lost my way. I've turned from what I know to be the right path and I've turned away from my super power! I'm making my way back and I'm stronger because of it. Again, I'm human! God knows that. God forgives me. Grace is a beautiful thing!

I thank my friends for helping me to get through this tough time. As I said, I've learned who my friends are and who they are not. I continue to weed the bad out of my life and seek the good and the beautiful. My friends have been my rocks. My friends are helping me to realize, along with my husband, that FAMILY is so important and it doesn't matter if we agree with our families or not, they are family and they will be there. We can't pick our family so we either go with it, or disown it. I've chosen to make amends and go with it. Life is too damn short! I know. I almost died once. I forgot what it was like. Now I remember. Embrace life and all it has to offer.

Won't you embrace life with me?

March 28, 2011 ...

okay, so I'm now wayyyyy behind! Bad, bad Jacquie!

Let's see if I can catch up...

Not much going on really. I work. I come home. I work some more. It's tax season. I put in ten hours today! It's almost over! *sigh* yet good. Sigh because I'm enjoying the money. Good because I've been working hard and will now go back to part-time! :(

Meghen did a four-day performance of Beauty and the Beast for her 8th grade drama class. I have many photos! Will upload some just as soon as I can go through them...I took over 400! She did a great job as Babette, a milk maid, a wolf and a napkin! The play itself was fantastic...very impressed!

Nothing else really exciting. Looking forward to some quiet time once work settles back down and getting a few things accomplished around the house.

Nearing the end of the NBA season; you know how much I HATE that! I love me some basketball! Go Lakers!

Won't you miss basketball too?